Thursday, June 15, 2017

Mike Trout is a Magical Baseball Wizard

There have been a lot of hyperbolic things written about the Greatest Baseball Player of All Time, Michael Nelson Trout.  What you are about to read is not that.  It is 100% true fact backed up with statistics and science.

Mike Trout is a Magical Baseball Wizard who has the ability to bestow his amazing baseball prowess upon his teammates while he has extended stints on the Disabled List.

I know, seems unlikely.  For one, Mike Trout didn't even attend Hogwarts.  He went to Millville High.  But for the 16 games he has missed since May 29th, Trout has transferred his baseball powers (magically) to one Eric Young Jr.

Below is a Table showing you just how eerily similar their stats are:

Now I'm sure you are thinking "Hey Josh, I don't know this Eric Young Jr. fella very well, what if he has put up similar stats his whole career?".  That's where you'd be Pineapple-on-Pizza-levels of wrong, my friend.

Eric Young Jr. has played off and on for nine seasons.  After fizzling out with the Mets and Yankees the last two seasons, it looked like EY's career was done.  He got a chance with the Angels for Spring Training this year, impressed them enough to make the AAA Bees roster and has been waiting in the wings for a spot on the big league club.

Upon arrival from Salt Lake City, Young was greeted by Mike Trout, donned in his wizardry robes, who gave him powers previously thought unfathomable.  Now, Eric Young has been able to keep the Angels at .500 while Mike Trout mends at Wolverine-like speeds.

But why Eric Young?  Why not his pal Calhoun?  Why not someone struggling like Espinoza or Pennington?  That all comes down to the most magical state in the union: New Jersey.

Mike Trout and Eric Young Jr. both have the pleasure(?) of being born in New York's Little Brother.  The most crowded and (allegedly) smelliest state in the union.  People from New Jersey stick together.  It could only be Eric Young.  It HAD to be Eric Young.  He was Trout's Horcrux.

Yesterday, Trout said he thinks he will be back before the All-Star break.  Putting his recovery at an impressive 5 weeks (originally slated to be 6-8 weeks), at which time he will recover all his powers from Eric Young Jr and he will go back to a replacement level talent.

That's fine though.  If the Angels can use this momentum for a playoff run, those Five Weeks where Eric Young inexplicably played like Mike Trout was magically granted the powers of Mike Trout will go down in Angels History until at least November.

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