Friday, January 21, 2011

Vernon Wells = Mike Napoli?

Bad News Angels fans: Not only have the Halo's cut ties with the 2010 leader in Home Runs, but we have now associated ourselves with one of the worst contracts in Major League history. The terribly under-performing Vernon Wells is coming west to play for my beloved Angels, and I don't think I could be more unenthusiastic.

The Positive? He will bring solidity to a Left Field position that has been a crap shoot since Garret Anderson got old. He is a defensive AND offensive upgrade from Juan Rivera, but it comes at a (BIG) Price.

Not only are we going to have to suck up some of his $86 Million owed over the next 4 years, but we lost one of the best young catchers in baseball. Mike Napoli is headed to the great white north to play for the Jays.

The deal is official, and Vernon has waived his no-trade clause. He is currently in Anaheim for his physical, and once he passes that, the deal is done and the Angels have made one of the more mind-boggling moves in franchise history.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Carl Crawford: Double Agent

I bet Theo Epstein thinks things are all sunshine and lollipops in Boston now, but he doesn't realize what I've found out. Through something we in the business call "investigative journalism", I've discovered that Carl Crawford really did want to join the Angels, but he, Torri Hunter and Arte Moreno had a better idea than just throwing all this money at Crawford. They hatched up a plan to sabotage the Red Sox, and what better way to do that than have an Agent on the inside?!

It will start out minor. Crawford will pull little "pranks" on fellow "teammates", like hiding jock straps, putting Josh Beckett's Glove in Jell-o, crank-calling Curt Schilling's radio show, and putting itching powder in Varitek's socks. From April to May, it will just be minor inconveniences... but when the season really starts rolling, thats when the double crossing really begins.

A big four-game set against the Yankees in Fenway? Oh, bummer, John Lackey, I wonder how the Feds finally found out about all the lewd images of children on your hard-drive! An important series against the Twins? I have no idea how Adrian Gonzalez caught such an awful case of herpes...

If through all of his evil plots, the Red Sox still manage to make the postseason, Crawford will unveil the final stage in his plan. Miserable play. He will strike out looking every at bat. He will miss every catch in the outfield, and even sabotage his "teammates" from the on-deck circle. "I have no idea how the bat just slipped out of my hands... I hope Pedroia is ok..." The Red Sox will finally become wise after having been swept by the Tigers in the first round. They will ask forgiveness from Crawford, as he has all the power in his multi-million dollar deal. He will simply say "Trade me, straight up, for Erick Aybar, and you only have to pay me half"

In 2011, Carl Crawford will become an Angel legend, in another uniform. God bless that man.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Former Angel Blyleven Voted into Hall of Fame.

Welcome to 2011, which is already turning out to be one of the best years in Bert Blyleven's life. Early Wednesday Morning, the former Angel and Twin was elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame's class of 2011 alongside perennial Second Base Gold-Glover, Roberto Alomar. I was lucky enough to have seen Alomar play, but I am too young to have seen the great Blyleven ever play. I have seen videos, specials and the like, and I can tell he was a very special pitcher who always showed up for big games.

While its very likely he will enter the hall as a member of the Minnesota Twins (with whom he started his career and, during his second stint with the team, won the 1987 World Series), he will always be remembered fondly as an Angel. He won the 1989 Comeback Player of the Year award as a member of the Halos. Its also always a treat when he comes back (along with the Twins, whom he is a Color Commentator for) and does a few interviews in Anaheim.

Blyleven won 287 games in his 22 year career, amassing 3,701 strikeouts to go along with a career ERA of 3.31. He pitched a no-hitter for the Texas Rangers in 1977, and won his first of two World Series titles in 1979 with the Pittsburgh Pirates (yes, they have won a World Series before, weird, huh?).

Angels Nation would like to congratulate Bert Blyleven and Roberto Alomar on their admission to the Hall of Fame, and won't sully this post talking about those that didn't make the cut (thats for tomorrow!)